Category: Reflection

The cold, damp air seemed to set the tone for the day.  I was tired and sluggish and the weather seemed to match my mood.  I will also admit a certain level of anxiety because of today’s anniversary.  Whether an attack is on our native soil or in a place like Benghazi, the anniversary of the 9/11 attack always spikes my apprehension about our citizens taking another hit.  

Obviously, as I delineated all of the (terror) attacks on American soil in the last 20 years in my post yesterday, we are vulnerable to attacks at any time and on any day.  It isn’t just on this one day.  In yesterday’s posting I  did not include any school shootings, the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting, and other events not labeled as terrorist attacks. The pain and loss of life in these crimes is also quite intense.

Reaching the evening hours with no reported attack has brought a sense of relief.  At the time I am writing this I still have concern about the folks present for Thursday Night Football.  I will be grateful when the stadium is empty and people have returned safely to their homes.

I had the privilege of being the keynote speaker this evening for the first meeting of the Bishop’s Guild in this new season.  The topic that was chosen is the theme for this year’s Catechetical Sunday which will be celebrated on September 21.  The theme is, Teaching About God’s Gift of Forgiveness.  Hopefully, all of us are teaching about God’s forgiveness first and foremost through our own forgiving actions.  I can only imagine the difficulty of some people in trying to forgive the perpetrators of the 9/11 attack. How do we find the strength to forgive when we have been hurt so tragically?

Thankfully, all things are possible with God.  The love of God the Father, the grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit is with us.  That is how we manage to go on through the difficult days of life.

My evening with the ladies of the Bishop’s Guild was a splendid one.  I am extremely grateful for each of you individually and as a group.  You have blessed, and continue to bless, God’s people through your lives of faithful witness.  Thank you for your dedication to Christ and the Church and the many ways you serve.  Please know that your sacrifices are genuinely appreciated. 

As we left the hotel following the banquet we were greeted with snowfall and 35 degree temperatures.  It’s only September 11.  I am not ready for winter.  Thankfully, it is a short blast and then back into the 70’s over the weekend.  

Have you ever stood on the edge of a mountainside and simply pondered?  Have you considered the ease of travel in modern times with paved roadways and engine-driven vehicles?  What did the early settlers think as they traversed through the mountains on horseback, in wagons, and on foot?  Did they stand at the base of a mountain and get discouraged about climbing the mountain and crossing it?  

We all face obstacles in life.  How do we typically respond to those obstacles?  

At this stage of your life, are you where you are supposed to be?

In a few weeks another birthday will arrive for me.  Some of the goals I set as young man have been reached, but others have not yet come to fruition.  (One of the goals was to be financially independent by the age of 40.  I missed that one by a long shot.)  As I was thinking about some of those things this morning I realized that I am not yet where I want to be in many areas of my life.  I started to get discouraged by that but then remembered John Maxwell’s line, “When you’re through improving, you’re through.”  As long as we are blessed with the gift of life, we continue to move forward in our journey toward God.

I began revisiting my goals this morning and making some adjustments to them.  I also began reviewing some material that I have accumulated through the years on leadership.  I found several pages of quotes that provided plenty of food for thought. Many of these were in John Maxwell’s book, Leadership 101.  A few of them really struck me as being pertinent at this stage in my life.

“The highest purpose for faith is not to change my circumstances but to change me.”“Be a yardstick of quality.  Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”“People do not follow programs; rather, they follow leaders who inspire them.”“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.”“A leader takes people where they want to go.  A GREAT LEADER takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go, but ought to be.”I have been blessed with some extraordinary people in my life through the years who have helped me grow in faith, in knowledge, and in understanding.  They have been an asset in encouraging me to strive for that place where I ought to be.  In turn, I have been striving to be that great leader who helps others get to where they ought to be.  I know I still have much work to do in my earthly pilgrimage.The key to successful leadership is influence–not position or authority.  The question I am asking myself I will also pose to you.  Are you exhibiting a positive influence for those around you?

I have been to hell and back.  Okay, I have been to Hell, Grand Cayman but I have not been to Hell, Michigan.  I have been to Purgatory, Colorado but have not been to Purgatory, Maine.  It has been more of a challenge to get to heaven.  I have not been to Heaven Heights, Massachusetts nor have I been to Paradise in Newfoundland, Canada.  If I want to see paradise it would probably be easier to go to Paradise, Utah or Paradise, California since they are both closer.  Led Zeppelin was going to lead us on the “Stairway to Heaven,” but apparently it is a difficult road since the band “Spirit” has now sued Zeppelin for “lifting the opening notes of Stairway to Heaven.”In Wyoming we have our own piece of Hell about 45 miles from Casper.  It is interestingly called “Hell’s Half Acre.”  That is interesting because the area encompasses about 320 acres.  (Maybe there was an attempt to minimize hell’s influence to a half acre.)  According to some of the local historians the area was actually known as “The Devil’s Kitchen” back in 1833.  Thus, the area has been connected to the realms of hell in one fashion or another for nearly 200 years. Interesting and odd names for towns and locations can attract attention, but do they make us stop and pause to consider the deeper realities?  A parade float created to resemble a saloon with plenty of alcohol flowing creates an image in and of itself.  Add a sign “Hell’s Half Acre” with a depiction of the flames of hell and the image increases in intensity.  Maybe Billy Joel had a point when he sang, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints because sinners are much more fun.”  Then again, he may have never considered the ultimate consequences for living a lifestyle contrary to the teachings of the Gospel. Reflections on the “four last things” used to be a serious matter.  We pondered death, judgment, heaven, and hell and recognized the significance of walking humbly with our God.  In modern culture we seem to see a much more casual attitude regarding these eternal issues.  It almost appears that we don’t even believe in the existence of hell although Sacred Scripture certainly refutes that proposition.

My closing questions for today are simply these:

Where do we draw the line in regard to our attitude toward spiritual things?  Do we find ourselves too casual, too serious, or just right?  Do we have an understanding of where to draw the line between the cultural idea of “fun” and outright “blasphemy?”  

The Missouri River in St. Charles, Missouri has long been a point of interest for me.  I have enjoyed walking in Frontier Park soaking up the solitude along the river, and I have also participated in some of the festivities in which thousands of people have gathered in that same location.  The power of the river can be fierce when flooding, and it can seem quite tranquil at other times.  Regardless of the circumstances, the river demands respect.  This weekend I experienced only the heat, the humidity, and the bugs.  Other than a few other tourists and a couple of joggers all was quiet on the riverfront. I appreciated the opportunity for a little reflection time without a lot of distractions.
I have written about my personal journey before, but being back in St. Charles this week brought back the memories a bit more vividly.  It was on July 17, 1986 when I was diagnosed with cancer the first time.  I spent 52 days in the hospital over the course of a four month period.  St. Joseph Health Center looks out over the Missouri River, and many times I stood in one of the lounge areas of the hospital and watched the river flow. I was angry at even the river.  It seemed like a replica of my life because it was flowing right on by and there was nothing I could do about it.  The frustration of such a predicament was beyond my understanding and the bitterness within me continued to grow.  It got to the point where I watched people walking on the sidewalks below and resented them for being healthy.  I could not believe this was happening to me.

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Thankfully, God is patient.  I spent a lot of time in the simple chapel at the hospital. Slowly, God touched my pain and brought the healing that can only be found in Him.  I was broken in so many ways, but nothing is beyond the scope of the Divine Healer.  It is difficult to imagine that I eventually would come to the point where I would help start a support group for patients and their families coping with a life-threatening illness.  Our group met successfully once a month for more than ten years.  I even became part of the hospital staff as a chaplain for a short time as well.  God certainly moved me from a place of despair to a place of hope, and then threw me into an arena completely out of my comfort zone. The end result was a tremendous learning experience and a powerful blessing to my eventual ministry as a deacon many years later.  

I had no idea back then where the road would lead.  I wasn’t even sure I would survive the cancer–or the harsh chemotherapy treatments.  It was a lesson in perseverance, but more importantly, it was a lesson in trust.  The setbacks, the infections, the loss of a paycheck, the loss of independence, the loss of dignity, and so much more bombarded my mind.  I probably wouldn’t have been ready to hear the question at that time, but 17 years later when the question came, I needed it then too.  “Are you still praising God?” Life is not always easy, but it is blessed.  

Today, I celebrate 28 years of survival since the first diagnosis of cancer.   It was an expedition I didn’t choose, but it resulted in quite an adventure.  This week when I looked at the statue of Lewis and Clark in Frontier Park, I had a deeper appreciation of their courage.  How do you stand at the confluence of the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers and embark on an unknown journey?  Sometimes, we step out in faith. Let the glory of God shine forth!

Living most of the first 40 years of my life in Missouri I guess it will always be considered home regardless of where I hang my hat.  It is 850 miles from my current home to my old stomping grounds, and this weekend I made that trek once again.  

As I get older the trip gets a little harder, but if I can get other states to follow Wyoming’s lead it could be quicker.  On some of the rural areas of Wyoming the interstate speed limit was raised to 80 MPH on July 1, 2014.  I got to enjoy a little less than 30 miles of that in Wyoming before hitting the Nebraska border. Nebraska officials–I enjoy your state.  However, I could still enjoy it at 80 MPH rather than the current 75 MPH.  It’s just a suggestion.  

I made the 14 hour drive on Friday and then the whirlwind of activities began the following day. I presided at the graveside service on Saturday morning where we buried the cremains of my brother-in-law Jerry at a small rural cemetery in Millwood, Missouri.

Then it was on to my mom’s house.  I picked her up so we could go to the 5:00 P.M. Eucharistic Liturgy in which good friends were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.  Congratulations JOANNE and ROSCO!  It was a marvelous celebration and your family is simply a delight to be around.  It was enjoyable to catch up with so many people I had not seen in years.  The picture below is out of focus.  That is due to the guy working the camera–not due to the subjects in the picture.  (I should have taken more than one picture.)

It was an honor and a privilege for me to offer the invocation and prayer of blessing before dinner.  Thank you Boone for the invitation to do so.  Eventually, the festivities closed on Saturday and I took my weary mother back home so she could get some rest for the next day.On Sunday morning I picked my mom up and we headed to O’Fallon for my cousin’s 60th anniversary as a Precious Blood sister.  Sr. Rose Marie Dobelmann is my first cousin, but she has also been a mentor to me.  After I was ordained a deacon in 1999, I went to school for an additional year receiving specialized training in the administration of religious education programs.  In 2000 I landed my first job as a Director of Religious Education.  Although I had completed the schooling, I was scared as I entered into my first role.  Sr. Rose Marie provided me with the guidance and support I needed to eventually become competent (I hope).  Her years of experience and wisdom were a tremendous blessing to me as I began this new ministry.

Sr. Rose Marie has touched the lives of many people in her 60 years as a sister.  She continues to lead faith discussion groups with women at All Saints Parish in St. Peters, Missouri.  Based upon the number of those women present at her celebration, Sr. Rose is still touching lives and sowing seeds of faith.  Thank you for your faithful witness to Jesus Christ.  (Thank you Fr. Pat Ryan for your generous hospitality in hosting the dinner for Sr. Rose.  Thank you also for inviting me to offer the invocation and prayer of blessing prior to dinner.  It was a privilege to do so, and it was also a pleasure to serve as a deacon at Mass with you.)On Monday I spent time catching up with some work and clearing up a few e-mails that needed attention.  I did get a little rest before heading back to Wyoming early this morning.  As you probably know, vacation is not always restful.
In closing, I simply offer my thoughts and prayers to the farmers along the Mississippi River.  I saw some beautiful looking crops, but unfortunately, many of them were standing in flood waters.  I know the difficulties of farm life and the costly venture of farming bottom land.  Getting a flood in July is certainly devastating.  Please know of my prayers for you.

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Although the camera didn’t capture the brightness of the rainbow quite as well as I had hoped, the scene was simply breath-taking yesterday evening.  The weather has dealt the region a few harsh blows in recent days with hail, torrential rain, and even a tornado or two, but the beauty of God’s handiwork is also quite noteworthy.

Early this morning I opened a couple of windows in the house and the cool, crisp air quickly lowered the inside temperature to 60 degrees.  It was refreshing and invigorating.  I din’t get to do that very often in late June when I lived in Missouri.  I generally got up and lowered the thermostat so the air-conditioner would kick on.  (It’s cheaper just opening a window.  I’m all for that.)

I hope you have the opportunity to enjoy some relaxation time during the weekend.  It is hard to believe we will enter the month of July on Tuesday.  

Next week I will share some thoughts on freedom and independence in the light of our faith.  I am waiting to see what decisions are handed down by the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday in regard to the HHS Mandate.  The verdict which is expected to be announced on Monday in regard to Hobby Lobby and other organizations under consideration will give a glimpse into the future of religious liberty in our country.  If the decision goes against religious liberty, the ripple effect will take effect immediately on Tuesday, July 1, 2014.  Other cases currently being heard in appellate courts across the country will be impacted by the Supreme Court decision.  It will be interesting to see the direction our country goes.

“This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

Praying the Liturgy of the Hours for the last 20 years has been an interesting experience.  There are times when the psalms especially speak to me in regard to life circumstances and other times when they do not.  However, there is one psalm that always makes me pause a little longer than the others, and that psalm occurred this morning.  It is Psalm 90 verse 10 in particular.  “Seventy is the sum of our years, or eighty, if we are strong; most of them are sorrow and toil; they pass quickly, we are all but gone.”

This passage is very sobering.  The human frailty we experience in our day-to-day lives is a reality that is spelled out quite succinctly in this one verse.  The following verses of the psalm add a piece of hope as the prayer continues.  Verse 12 says, “Teach us to count our days aright, that we may gain wisdom of heart.”  Verse 17 concludes the psalm with, “May the favor of the Lord our God be ours.  Prosper the work of our hands!  Prosper the work of our hands!”

How blessed we are when we gain wisdom of heart!  That gift doesn’t automatically come with the passing of the years.  It is a gift given to us through the love and favor of God if we are open to grace.  The power of the Holy Spirit in our lives gives meaning to the toil and helps bring forth an abundant harvest of fruit.  “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”  (Galatians 5:22)

Yesterday, my mom started questioning me about a recent post on my blog concerning the aspect of feeling defeated.  She asked if I was sick or if something else was wrong.  I didn’t know the answer to that question exactly when she asked it because there wasn’t one specific thing wrong.  It was more a compilation of a variety of issues.  Today, I know the answer to her question, and it is articulated in Psalm 90 verse 10.  Life is just difficult at times.

In closing, I would like to point out that my mom doesn’t have a computer and did not see any of my blog postings until a couple of weeks ago.  Then, my nephew shared the post of my ordination anniversary on June 5, with her so she could see the pictures and the story.  Now a friend of my mom’s has picked up the role of sharing my blog with her on a more regular basis.  Since my mom will now be evaluating each word I write, I will simply give her a “shout out” this one time for surpassing the numerical expectations of Psalm 90.  Mom, you not only made it past 70 and 80 years respectively, but have surpassed it by a decade.  Thus, the picture above is just for you.  Do you remember doing crazy things like riding a motorcycle in your 80’s?  It makes me wonder.  What did you do when you were younger?