Category: Reflection

In my quest to heal from colon cancer surgery, I have tried to become more disciplined in walking consistently. Although I am not gearing up to run a marathon, the health benefits of walking each day are well documented. Maintaining my motivation to do this has been a struggle.

I pondered a variety of tactics. Should I join a gym and use an indoor track or a treadmill? The nearest gym is 15 minutes away. Quite frankly, I commuted to work for 40 years. I don’t want to commute to a gym. Walking outside it is.

I decided to combine prayer with walking. Although I tend to get easily distracted while observing my surroundings as I walk, I found an answer. I offer a prayer before I start walking entrusting to the Lord each household that I physically walk by during my exercise period. I utilize the opening greeting from Mass to pray for these households.

Here is my simple prayer:

“As I pass by each house, may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father, and the communion, fellowship, and power of the Holy Spirit be with each individual who resides or visits this house.”

How does utilizing this prayer method impact me? It spurs me on to keep walking so that God’s grace will fall upon more households as I pass by them. I was ready to quit today before I reached the two-mile mark. However, I wanted to bless more people with God’s grace through my intercessory prayer for them by walking past their house. I went down additional streets and ended up going 2.5 miles in total.

I don’t know how many houses I passed by in total, but a lot of people received prayers without knowing it this morning. What a joy it is for me to give them this gift of intercessory prayer.

On October 16, 2001, I had major surgery for a cancerous tumor wrapped around my duodenum. (Yes, I am coming up on the 25th anniversary of that surgery.) We lived in southern Colorado at the time. My local doctor said that the surgery would be a serious one. He recommended not going to Pueblo or even stopping in Colorado Springs. He said, “You want to have this surgery at University Hospital in Denver.” That’s what I did.

Two ladies from the parish said they would drive to Denver and pray for me while I was in surgery. I said, “You can pray for me at home. There is no need to drive two hours.” They insisted that they wanted to be in the building where my surgery would be taking place. They wanted to be in close proximity to me as they offered their intercessory prayers on my behalf. That has stuck with me all these years. I now find ways to do that myself. Praying for the neighborhood residents as I walk past their houses is one such way.

I also do this when I visit nursing homes or hospitals. While I am in the building I pray for everyone there.

When I walk in areas more commercially oriented, I pray that owners, workers, and customers all receive God’s grace in such a way that they recognize God is meeting them at the point of their need.

Walking by a school brings me great joy. I get to pray for administrators, teachers, support staff, the students, and all the parents and grandparents who pass through those school doors during the course of the academic year.

Organizations such as 40 Days for Life have been utilizing proximity prayer for years. Why? Because it works.

Who is in close proximity to you? Have you prayed for them lately? This could be family, friends, co-workers, classmates, people at the grocery store, the doctor’s office, and so many other places. Don’t miss the opportunity to be an intercessor for others.

As we turn the page on the calendar we may experience a variety of emotions.

1. Does a new academic year impact you and your daily regimen?
2. Do you look forward to cooler weather, or do you mourn the passing of summer?
3. How does less daylight impact you?
4. Do you find it easier to maintain consistency in your daily routines when the summer season ends?
5. What is the season that most leads you toward holiness? Why?

I went out before sunrise this morning to begin my walk. Although the temperature was a pleasant 62 degrees, the humidity was registering at 100 percent. That is rather unusual for this locale. That did not stop me from venturing out. I am determined to rebuild my stamina and feel good again. This week I have successfully accomplished hitting the two-mile mark on repeated occasions. Yes, I celebrate the small wins.

Simple tasks have been a struggle for quite some time. Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I had been suffering with low energy and an overall “blah” feeling. Obviously, once it was determined that I had internal bleeding, things started making sense. Further tests eventually led to the cancer diagnosis. As the physical therapist mentioned to me recently, “You have been in decline for ten months. It is not going to rebuild overnight.” Demolition does indeed happen more quickly than rebuilding.

It is my goal to get back to living, not just existing. Rebuilding my strength and stamina is necessary if I am going to be able to do the things I want to do. Developing the discipline to consistently get some exercise is not easy. I have to keep reminding myself that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I need to treat it as such. Perseverance –do I have it? We shall see.

Blessings to all of you in your journey of life!

Beaches in the Florida panhandle are much less crowded in the winter. I appreciate the opportunity to enjoy the beauty and the solitude of the winter months. I hope to have the opportunity to enjoy a similar view this coming winter.

As I get older and experience even more health challenges, inner peace becomes a very treasured gift. Navigating the troubled waters of increased physical limitations has been a lesson in humility and acceptance. Some days I accept things better than other days.

As I was leaving an appointment with my oncologist on Tuesday, I heard someone call out, “Deacon.” Seeing parishioners in the cancer center reminds me that I am not the only one navigating a difficult situation. I have also seen parishioners at the cardiology center and the infusion center. A city of 171,000 residents seems smaller all the time.

Whatever cross you are carrying at the current time, please know of my prayers for you.

Have a blessed and safe holiday weekend!

During my recovery from colon cancer surgery, I have kept myself occupied with a lot more prayer and study. I am grateful for God’s grace in continuing to call me into a deeper relationship with Him. My slowness in responding through the years makes the call seem ever more urgent at this point in time.

Reading and praying with Sacred Scripture is such a tremendous blessing. It still astounds me how a passage I have heard or read many times suddenly comes to life in a new way. The circumstances of life and the movement of the Holy Spirit coincide for profound insights and serious promptings to action.

I am reading three different books at the same time, and the overlap has been amazing. The Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, The Glories of Divine Grace, and Preparation for Death gel together nicely. The writings of St. Alphonsos Liguori have impacted my life for many years. My personal favorite, and most life-changing for me, is Preparation for Death. I have it read it multiple times over the last 30 years. I am especially excited about it now, because a couple of individuals at the parish have organized a summer book study on it after hearing me speak about it. God’s grace is going to overflow upon our community in a powerful way as we delve into the spiritual wisdom of St. Alphonsus Liguori.

Bottom line–let’s be diligent in our prayer, study, and action. Be battle ready!

May 18–Blizzard Warning in Wyoming and severe weather throughout the central part of the country. I wonder what the weather is like in Cancun today. I had the blessing to be there last December, and it was beautiful. It would be worth the trip to just go back to the two churches I had the pleasure of visiting.

During my recovery from cancer surgery over the last eight weeks, I have spent a great deal of time engaged in spiritual reading. What a blessing that has been. In addition to my own reading, I have also started my second trip through “The Bible in a Year” with Fr. Mike Schmitz. It was a tremendous blessing the first time I did it. I am already walking away with new insights the second time around. Being forced to slow down does have some benefits.

People sometimes ask me what I am reading. In the last three weeks I have completed these selections.

Why these selections? I read Soulwinning many years ago. One statistic still stays etched in my mind from all those years ago. The Moody Bible Institute shared a statistic that only about 5% of Christians will ever lead another soul to Christ. Although this book is written from a Protestant perspective, the reason I chose to read it again was because of the missionary zeal contained within the pages. There are doctrinal difficulties in the text, but I was not reading it for doctrine and dogma. I was trying to capture the zeal and fervor.

Trustful Surrender is something I wanted to study because of current life circumstances. I thought I was in a particular place in life to more fully understand surrendering to Divine Providence.

Radiating Christ–that’s the goal.

Contemplative Enigmas–Silence and solitude are much needed in life but can seem quite elusive in our harried world. This book raised my awareness of being present to God at all times.

The Wounded Healer–I thought the title described me.

Spiritual Combat Revisited–I wanted to raise the bar on being vigilant in avoiding sin and growing in virtue.

Sacred Fire–It describes in an amazing way the two different parts of our life. I am definitely in the second part of life of trying to give my life away. How do I build others up? This process also includes preparing to give my death away. This was a unique perspective on preparing for a good and holy death.

What am I reading now?

Yes, I struggle to just read one book from cover to cover. I tackle multiple titles at once. The Sacred Heart of Jesus books and The Glories of Divine Grace are intricately connected in so many ways. I want to be sure I celebrate the Sacred Heart of Jesus well during the month of June and always.

Spiritual Masters reminds me that we have a treasure chest of wisdom from those who have gone before us. I don’t have to figure it all out on my own.

The book by Curtis Martin is an easier read than the others. I use that for simple reminders about the basics of faith. I typically read that when I am tired just before going to sleep.

The last two books are from the writings of St. Alphonsus Liguori. I have been blessed immensely by his teachings. I have read Preparation for Death multiple times. Simple words of wisdom are scattered all throughout the text:

“Those who pray will be saved; those who pray not will be condemned.”

“If anyone believes in eternity and chooses not to become a saint should be confined to a madhouse.”

My dear friends, I encourage you to read, study, and pray with Sacred Scripture. Do spiritual reading. Keep your mind immersed in God’s Word and the teachings of the Church. Mediocrity is not an option when it comes to our journey of faith. We are called to be great saints!

In presentations that I have given through the years I have jokingly mentioned that I am apparently a slow learner. Well, it has now dawned upon me that it is possible that it is not a joke. Maybe I really am a slow learner.

Major events in life tend to get our attention. It seems like one or two major catastrophic events would suffice for learning purposes. That has not been the case in my life. At this point, there have been three cancer diagnoses over the course of 40 years, open heart surgery, two heart ablations, and five cardioversions just to name a few of the lessons listed on the syllabus. I don’t recall signing up for this particular degree.

My first cancer diagnosis was on July 17, 1986. Yes, it will soon be forty years since that devastating diagnosis. Getting that news as a young adult in the prime of life was quite the shock. Just a few short years earlier I was playing both basketball and baseball at the collegiate level. Now, suddenly, I needed help to just get out of bed. A total of 52 days were spent in the hospital over a four month period.

Being diagnosed a second time 15 years later hit quite differently. By that time, I was married and we had two young children. The lessons were looked at through a very different lens at this point in time. The first diagnosis was all about me. Look at what I am losing. The second diagnosis was all about what my family loses if I don’t survive this. My kids will grow up without a dad being present. Hmmm. Was I maturing? Was I moving from selfishness to selflessness? (The jury is still out.)

Two years after that diagnosis came the need for a mitral valve repair. Open heart surgery was a new arena for me. I always felt cancer was giving me time to prepare. Death would not happen suddenly. As the cardiothoracic surgeon explained the procedure in great detail for repairing or replacing the mitral valve, I knew the possibility of something going wrong could result in never waking up. That was a new lesson on the syllabus of life.

After surgery, the heart surgeon said, “That will fix it for a while.” I got about eleven years out of it. Unfortunately, in the last ten years I have had two heart ablations and five cardioversions in an attempt to keep my heart in rhythm. The chemotherapy drugs from my treatments in 1986 damaged my heart.

I have learned more about the medical industrial complex than I ever cared to know. Learning the medical jargon and understanding the procedures and processes help put the mind at ease from the fear of the unknown. However, wouldn’t it have been awesome to not have needed to learn these things? (Just wondering.)

Finally, we arrive in 2026. How do you celebrate Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras? I celebrated by fasting, doing the prep for a colonoscopy, and actually having the colonoscopy on Fat Tuesday. Good times!

A blood test had revealed that I was anemic. An endoscopic procedure and colonoscopy were utilized to try to find the source of internal bleeding. The colonoscopy revealed a large, cancerous tumor in the ascending colon. That was not the news I expected to hear as soon as I woke up from the colonoscopy. The gastroenterologist said we needed the pathology report to confirm it, but he was certain I had colon cancer. A few days later the pathology report confirmed that finding.

Diagnosis was on February 17. Surgery was on March 17. Did you think my celebration on Fat Tuesday was phenomenal? Look at the party I planned on St. Patrick’s Day. Colon cancer surgery! Do I know how to live or what?

Anyway, at this point, I am nearly two months out from surgery. Recovery has seemed slow, but I am not as young as I used to be. Bouncing back takes on a different perspective now versus forty years ago.

Prognosis looks good. No other organs appear to be impacted. All the lymph nodes that were removed during surgery tested negative as well. We are simply doing vigilant surveillance at this point. The first year is always crucial.

My dear family, friends, followers, and parishioners at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton:

The challenges of life can seem immense. I know that from first-hand experience. I intend to share more thoughts and reflections as time moves on about what I have experienced and what I have learned in the process. Having forty years of hindsight now gives me a very unique lens with which to evaluate and assess the pilgrimage of life. Suffering is a difficult journey, but the graces that come with it are truly profound. I realize that I could have never learned some of these difficult and complex lessons from a textbook. I had to be more united to the Cross of Christ to grasp the teachings.

As for now, I simply want to thank you for your kindness, care, and compassion. Your intercessory prayers on my behalf are truly appreciated.

I look forward to being with the parishioners at Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton again very soon as I start easing back into some ministerial responsibilities. If all goes as planned, I am scheduled to be the deacon and homilist at the 5:00 pm Mass on Saturday, June 13, and the 8:00 am Mass on Sunday, June 14. I thought that would be a good way to celebrate being nearly three months out from surgery at that point.

Please continue to pray for me as I continue to pray for all of you.

St. Peregrine, pray for us!

Blessings and peace!

Deacon Vernon