My first diagnosis of cancer came in July of 1986. Yes, I am almost a 40-year survivor. Surgery and weeks of chemotherapy led to 52 days in the hospital. I went from being a collegiate athlete in two sports to needing help to just get out of bed a few years after graduation. That was quite the shift.
The uncertainty which encompasses one’s life while battling cancer is ever present. Do you dare make long-range plans?
Waiting for test results is a whole new exercise in the virtue of patience.
I am almost 25 years out from my second diagnosis with cancer. The first diagnosis came when I was single. The second diagnosis came after I was married and had two young children. I learned a whole new batch of concerns and anxieties to deal with as I pictured my wife and children continuing on in life if I didn’t make it. Somehow, I made it through again.
I was diagnosed with cancer for a third time a little less than four months ago. When asked if I wanted to do any traveling in retirement, I answered, “Yes.” I guess I should have been more specific. I wanted to go to fun places. Instead, I have traveled to my primary care doctor, the emergency room at the hospital, the gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy, then to the hospital for a CT scan, then to the surgeon, then to the oncologist, then to the infusion lab, and on and on it goes. Those are not the travel plans I had envisioned for my retirement years.
It is not an easy journey, but there is a certain wisdom that starts to slowly dawn upon you in the midst of the struggle. You realize what is important. You learn where, and with whom, to invest time and energy. There will also be places, people, and things which may no longer be in your circle of attention. These changes are natural and necessary as one moves through the ordeal of confronting life and death head-on.
The spiritual aspect of the journey will be an awakening in and of itself. One cannot go through a battle with a life-threatening illness and come out unchanged. The heart will learn to love more deeply or become cold and embittered. In all of the decisions that are made during medical treatments, the internal decisions we make in our response to the disease will determine so much more. Regardless of how much time we have remaining on this earth, we want to do more than survive. We want to thrive. That is a decision of the heart.
Blessings and peace to each of you striving for health, wholeness, and holiness!